Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Frizz

Hey scientists, doctors and other smart people - let me get this straight (no pun intended):

You can get a man on the moon, open up a chest to repair a beating heart, remove an ovary from a female body, fertilize it and implant it back into the uterus so a human being can grow . . .

BUT YOU CAN'T DEVELOP ANYTHING TO EFFECTIVELY COMBAT FRIZZY HAIR!?!?

I do not understand this.  How hard can it be?  You seriously can't create a formula that will keep a 95 degree day, under 87% humidity, from turning someone with otherwise healthy looking, smooth hair into one of the muppets on crack?  I don't believe it.  Are you just too good for anti-frizz?

Well, consider the damage we frizz freaks are doing to our communities. I mean honestly, I think nasty, moisture soaked curls all over my head today were actually interfering with satellite signals and possibly causing accidents.  That's right - accidents.  Over the course of the day I, no joke, had to pull over for 2 ambulances and 3 police vehicles and that is no lie.  Surely this was caused by frizz interference because a head of hair this out of control has to have an impact.

Oh, let me guess, you CAN'T BE BOTHERED!

Whatevs.

Top 5 Awful Things I'd Rather Have Than Frizz:
1.  diarrhea
2.  temporary blindness
3.  a hangover
4.  10 stubbed toes
5.  taxes

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