Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Peeing on, not IN, your pants......

Today I almost peed ON my pants. That's right.  You heard it correctly.  I almost peed ON them, not in them.  It is complicated.  Please don't ask.  This happened while at work too, and that makes it even more disturbing.

Stop asking.  I am not going to elaborate, as this is already more than enough humiliating information, just for the sake of an interesting blog post.....trying to get your attention, as it has been almost a year since my last post.

Let me just say that the fraction of a fraction of a second between realizing what was about to happen and saving myself from a urine stream  - was so minimal it is unlikely that it can even be measured.  I almost cried from the relief when I realized the disaster I had just avoided.

What's the worst that could have happened though, really?  If I had peed on my pants, surely I could simply have gone to the school nurse for a change of clothes just like all the kids do.  Do you think she has Express straight leg slacks and Ann Taylor button ups?  Hell no.  I would probably have come out in a jumper with embroidered crayons and on it.

Oh, that's right, if you did not know.......I'm a teacher. Aren't you relieved that the future of our children rests in the hands of an almost-peed-on-my-pantser?

Ugh, I so CAN'T BE BOTHERED nearly peeing on my own clothes.  It is time to stop thinking about 52 other things and focus on the PEE, as in Present!

What was the last borderline insane thing you did because you were't paying attention?