Tuesday, April 12, 2011


OK, so last night at 11pm marks the 3rd birth of  a friend's baby in the last 2 weeks and I just have to ask: "Am I really the only one who just can't be bothered with a human swimming in my uterus for 9 months?"

As if there are not countless other reasons that the idea of having a baby/toddler/child/teenager who hates me/adult kid who blames me for everything scares the hell out of me, let me just stick to this one: I cannot imagine growing a living thing with fingernails, hair, armpits, a butt crack, intestines, blood, bones and countless other less than cute parts - in my stomach.  I mean seriously, after a 1 pound 14 inch sub I am uncomfortable for hours, how are you going to put a maybe 8 pound 21 inch infant in there and expect to function?  Oh and there's more: veins, stretch marks, bigger feet, water retention, no sleep, toys all over, day care expenses, college funds, global warming . . . shall I go on? 

Maybe they just do it for the boobs. Now that makes me stop and think twice (ha get it?)!

Ah, but maybe I am fooling you, and myself too.  As disgruntled as I sound, you can ask my mom - I've been taking care of babies since I was one myself.  I remember being 8 years old and sneaking into my newborn brother's room when he was crying, kneeling beside his crib, reaching between the bars and rubbing his back until he settled down and fell asleep.  My parents thought they used the cry it out method, but it was me - his big sister.  At 16, I spent several Saturday nights caring for my four little cousins, one of which was an infant that I had to get up to feed at 3a.m.  My friends, who all have babies now, never did that!  There's more too, so many more - babies, kids and more babies and more kids and almost eleven years of spending every day with a classroom full of children. 

. . . and those 3 babies born in the last two weeks?  Well, the only one I haven't held yet was just born 19 hours ago.  So, maybe this baby fever is bound to get us all, even those of us who thought they'd just spend a lifetime loving other people's kids and their students and that would be enough.  Maybe. 

Then again, maybe I just "Can't be bothered!"


  1. Love your blog. Keep them coming!

  2. Just held the 3rd one . . . love you Charlie!

  3. Being pregnant sucks... I hated every second of it... dreading having to do it again... wish we could cook them in some washing machine type contraption and open the door after 9 months and have the baby ready. Someone should get cracking on that. With that said, being a mom is the scariest hardest most wonderful thing in the world. So if you ever do decide to get knocked up I'll lend you my copy of "Pregnancy Sucks: What To Do When Your Miracle Makes You Miserable" I think you'd like it.