Thursday, August 18, 2011

Vote for Me for God!

Seriously, I'm thinking we should start holding elections for God.  I mean really, this one's body of work just isn't good, you have to admit, and we have probably given him long enough to get it right (like at least a few thousand years or something).  It seems like the right time to find someone who is better suited for the demands of this position.

Honestly, if Barak Obama had done even half of what God has done (or not done) we would impeach him tomorrow.  Poor Obama has an approval rating of something like 39% and all people think he's done is screw up health care and our economy . . . but God?  Well, just look at only a few examples of his work below.  How many of you would get to keep your jobs if these or similar events and people happened on your watch:

The Holocaust, World Wars, The Cuban Missile Crisis, AIDS, Cancer, 9/11, Hurricane Katrina, Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., The Great Depression, Slavery, Columbine, Charles Manson, Global Warming, Forest Fires, Floods, Drought, Famine . . . 

I'd go on, but really - I CAN'T BE BOTHERED.  If the above list does not convince you that God should be an elected position, I don't know what will.

So, cast your nominations. Who would make a good Universe Leader?  Here are some suggestions to get you started.

- Santa Clause (he can fly and has presents)
- Oprah (she's Oprah)
- Bill Gates (he totally knows stuff)
- Tom Hanks (nicest guy)
- Captain Sully (landed US air flight 1549 safely in the Hudson freakin river, I already think he IS God!)
- Charlie Sheen (tiger blood, winning)

One last thing: Lets really insist that the campaigns be only positive, no exceptions.  That seems the Godly thing to do.  I mean, can you imagine someone running for God and smearing an opponent?

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